Failure ... it gets to you.

I've copied this over from my FB author page. I'm just having a moan ... things are bugging me, a LOT.


So, I published my first book a loooong time ago. Self-publishing etc was new, brand new. Vanity publishers charging 1000s of pounds/ dollars were fading as better, inexpensive, companies emerged and gave authors a chance to see their work in print. This isn't a blog/ rant about self-publishing, though, more about 15-20 years of banging my head against a brick wall networking and promotion and ... failure. Yes, failure. I have no problem admitting to that.
So, my stance from the beginning has always been a love of writing. Wanting to share my stories with others. Giving the readers my tales and ideas.
Writing isn't easy. Once the words flow and you reach a certain point in the book ... usually about 10,000 words in my case, then it becomes a lot easier, but that's irrelevant ... I'm just typing as it arrives in my head.
Back to banging my head against a brick wall. Yes, from the beginning I knew that I could not aggressively market or promote. It isn't me. It's rude in my opinion. If someone says no, they mean no. They don't mean 'Maybe. Keep hassling me, though, in case I change my mind.'
This hasn't changed over the years. It's grown worse because of all the other places on the internet to post, blog, share etc. The temptation and opportunity to bombard potential readers/ customers has exploded. Personally, I repeat in capitals, PERSONALLY(I'm not associating my thoughts with any others) can't stand the same link or book cover or tweet or excerpt or whatever appearing all over the place.
Here's a quick sidestep - something I have yet to succeed at is building a 'base'. By this, I mean a group of readers who have followed me from the beginning, or who subscribe to all my updates, check in on my latest work etc. If every author/ upcoming author did this, they wouldn't have to plaster the web a bazillion times with their news. Good news spreads itself.
I think this is one of the reasons I am moaning and melancholy today(well, for a while now to be honest) - I have been around for a while, feeling my way through the publishing world, watching it change and grow, sometimes overnight. I don't like how it has changed and what it has become.
READERS are the most IMPORTANT element in the publishing world. Yes, some will disagree, but they are to me. Readers are put off by in your face tactics.
This brings me close to the end of this post and also back to failure. It annoys me, upsets me, angers me - plus a million other emotions - because I've been the polite author, the listening author, the helpful author, and it hasn't brought me any success. I have spent many years making friends in the publishing world. I've helped authors promote, I've shared links for them, I've purchased books that interest me, I've suggested books to readers. I have also asked for the same in return and been ignored, or told no :/

I've been the one in the background, typing away, releasing books without all the fireworks and mass posts. I tell myself that the selective marketing/ promotion/ pre-publication reviews etc will be enough to get the word out. FAILURE ... or FAIL ... FACEPALM ... whatever is usual these days.
I don't want to disappear among the louder voices. I believe I have stories to tell that the readers will love and remember. The reviews tell me this is the truth. SUCCESS?? Maybe ...